Apparently The Wall Street Journal scrapes my Livejournal! Presumably for the economics posts. That’s funny! Since that really is the newspaper of record for a certain class of supervillain, I’m totes onboard with that. I’ve even seen a few hits from that page! Hi, guys! If you’re looking for opportunities for positions in my minion legions, the application form is on the Contact page; good luck!

Here, have a bunch of awesome things:

• I need one of these shirts desperately. Women’s medium or small, black. Somebody steal one for me. XD
• I also need these, to combine with these, for both diorama and plotting purposes. Also fun for kids!
• Want to read about orphaned farm boys? [No] Tough. SF Signal flowcharts NPR’s Top 100 F&SF books. XD
• How to troll 150 classmates. Or, at least, the nontrivial percentage who can’t be bothered to watch the movie for film class.

GO VOTE in the contest poll! All these entries are by people reading this thing, so go support their creativity. o/ And, of course, if you missed it: NEW TRAD O’ TH’ MONTH! Like all the Cracksman Betty project, it’s a free/pay-what-you-like download.

I’m off to VCON! I may and may not have net access. Try not to blow up the lair while I’m gone. Have a good weekend, minions!

ps: Here, have domesticated Russian foxes being very cute. Don’t say I never gave you nothin’. XD

Cracksman Betty is the official compilation album of Trad O’ th’ Month songs, which are one-day free/pay-what-you-like recordings of traditional or mostly-traditional music. This latest addition, “I’m a Rover,” was recorded live at Juanita Bay at the “Talk Like a Pirate Day” show I did on the 9th.

It was a mono recording – originally, anyway – with not enough vocals and too much wind and generator noise. But I fixed all that! ^_^ Give a listen, and download it if you like:

Also, don’t forget to vote in the poll! Several people came up with entries for a contest that wasn’t even my idea, which is awesome, so support fan creativity, go see what they made, and help one of them win a prize by picking your favourite!

Okay, so, when I added “Rain of Jaguars” to the list of apocalypse engines on a whim last week – it’s always been my favourite apocalypse legend by far – I was absolutely not expecting it to win, much less for people to start speculating about the mechanics of jaguar apocalypses, or “Jaguar Apocalypse” to become a miniature meme, but all that happened!

So the poll I had planned for this week is now put off, and instead we have this instead! It’s a poll populated by readers of this blog, a combination of “Apocalypse Jaguar is my ______________ Cover Band” jokes and Apocalypse Jaguar discography entries!

You guys are total freaks, you know that, right? XD

Creator of the winning poll entry wins a signed album, suitable for framing, playing, evangelising the band (aheh), distracting police while you finish targeting your heat ray, reflecting lasers onto the moon, what have you.

I gotta tell you, I might ask to steal one of these graphics – if an entry has a link on it, it’s to cover art – for show poster art. I’m not sayin’ which. But one of them. Clickie and see if you can figure out which. Meanwhile, go vote!

[poll id=”10″]

Also! Anna and I will be at VCON this weekend! I don’t have a show, I’m just goin’. Are you coming? If so, let us know, and come say hi!

I’d write more, but it’s 1am. Here, unrelated to anything, Rainbow Dash vs. Starscream. I lulzed.

There are enough entries, yay! We have eight so far. So tomorrow we start the Apocalypse Jaguar contest!

If you have no idea what I’m on about, click here – you can still add entries if you want. I’ll put the voting post up around midnight Cascadian/Pacific time tonight, so if you want to enter, do it before then.

(Do it do it do it do it you know you wanna )

(APOCALYPSE JAGUARS RAR! XD )

It has been suggested on the Livejournal echo that “Apocalypse Jaguar” is a good band name. My immediate thought was that Seven and the Ragged Tiger was Duran Duran’s Apocalypse Jaguar cover band.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it:

1. Comment here with one more more albums from Apocalypse Jaguar’s discography. Should you feel like image-searching for album art, that would be epic.

2. Alternatively, comment here with your entry for:

“Apocalypse Jaguar is my _______________ cover band.”

If there are enough good answers, I’ll turn this into a poll, and the winner of the poll gets a free autographed Dick Tracy Must Die CD, suitable for playing, framing, evangelising the band (ahem) or distracting guards during your jailbreak.

Ready… steady… GO!

Normally here I’d have a cool new post for you to wake up to on Monday morning! But I don’t, because a mild windstorm blew our IP upstream off the net for many hours. So you get hopefully amusing bullet points.

1: The Image of the Poll from last week are still the marine apocalypse jaguars. I never thought a combination of Battlestar Galactica and Aztec legend would be your preferred engine of the apocalypse, but who am I to argue? However, if you start to go all ancient astronaut on me, Londo Mollari is going to have to line you up and kick all your asses. Just sayin’.

2: Black Mesa is recruiting. If, you know, you’re the sort to like shipping products without testing them. C.f.:

No momentum goo. No industrial properties. Why bother?

3: I’m learning a new pick technique. It’s difficult and wants my wrist to move in ways that are apparently common for you lot but are freaky and weird to me. But I will say this: it’s damned fast. I like that.

That’s it. Check back for more later! I’ll come up with somethin’ when I have brains again. XD

PS: APOCALYPSE JAGUAR RAR! XD

TOTAL AWESOME POST MUST BE IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE CAPLOCK IS CRUSE CONTROL FOR AWESOME BECAUSE THIS IS TOTALLY AWESOME POST!

Okay, I won’t do that to you for real. But I was tempted!

AWESOME NR. 1: I appreciate every review. I wish I got more of them. Even iffy or bad ones mean that someone thinks you’re worth reviewing, even if they don’t like what you have to offer. But of course good reviews are better! And always, always make my week.

But best of all are positive notices from other musicians you respect. Which is why Heather Dale sending me this commentary about Dick Tracy Must Die, with permission to quote, just blows my brain right up:

Purity and edge; technical prowess and a kick-ass attitude… this disc will light a fire under you! Check it out!

O.O o/ Damn. I’m sick with some stupid cold today, and I do not fucking care because… damn.

I am not worthy. Thank you, Heather.

(And if you don’t know her band, you should. They’re not elfmetal, so don’t expect them to sound like us, but that’s okay. Go listen to, oh, The Green Knight this weekend. Particularly this track.)

AWESOME NR. 2: This week’s poll, What’s your apocalypse engine of choice?, has spurred some pretty funny comment threads at both the official band blog and on Google+. If you haven’t voted yet, go vote, then read the comments, because seriously, if uplifted jaguar apocalypse marines falling from orbit using a battlestar as a drop ship to the music of “Flight of the Valkyries” and “Ordinary Day” is wrong? I don’t even want to know what right is anymore.

AWESOME NR. 3: If you are a creative person of any sort anywhere near Seattle, you really want to know about this foundation, and the $1000 to Do Something Awesome Grant. You present a proposal for something awesome; one person a month gets $1000 to go execute. Is that you? If so, MOVE IT, SOLDIER!

Finally, I leave you with AWESOME NR. 4: How to Troll Seagulls. I’m a bad person, so couldn’t stop laughing. Enjoy:

BONUS ETAWESOME: ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS.

You’d think people would know by now: do not hire Aperture Science’s contracting team. I mean, do you really need showers and AI cores in your library’s children’s section? How do you even get here:

(yes, this is at our new library)

Of course, if it’s about educating kids on surviving the inevitable Cylon Skynet Talkie Rain of Jaguars apocalypse, then that’s fine! For some degree of fine, where fine means awesome means yay! Testing!

Which, of course, reminds me of a question that’s certainly been on my mind lately:

[poll id=”9″]

If your preferred apocalypse engine is not on this list, DO NOT ANSWER THE POLL YET! People seemed to like the add-an-answer system last time, so we’ll do that again. INSTEAD OF ANSWERING THE POLL, leave a comment with your preferred answer. I will add it to the poll! Check back and vote for your answer when it appears!

I have a couple of new songs in progress and am starting to get a grip on their lyrics. The main chord framework has come together for both songs, which is always feels great. This summer, I figured out Irish bouzouki power chords – there’s four words you don’t expect to see in a row, now do you? – and, well, fuck yeah. They’re akin to guitar power chords but instead of 1/5/maybe +1 whatevery? It’s three octaves of 1/5/1/5/1/5 action. IT’S BEAUTIF <head explodes>

And for all you people whose eyes glazed over? That’s okay. You’ll be hearing about this. n/

Finally, I love crazy fan projects so very very much. Space: 2099 is a fan-project fixing Space: 1999. That’s not too hard with Year One; year one was actually pretty good at times, despite some problems. Year Two is, shall we say, a challenge. But… this is totally awesome. And I totally wish this was real. Rock on, you crazy fans. Rock the fuck on. n/

HI, MIRA GRANT FANS! Welcome to the home of rage-driven acoustic elfmetal! That was quite the turnout you guys provided to the WHO IS YOUR THE MASTER NOW? poll; well done!

Let’s talk losers and winners, shall we? First, our loser, with a frankly astonishing ZERO (0) votes: SAD FOX MASTER!

Not even one?!

Out-polled by “MANOS”: The Hands of Fate. That’s gotta hurt.

Now for our winner! I give you the animated GIF presentation of your new THE MASTER – hit refresh if you want to make sure you start at the beginning…

Mira Grant! Congratulations, voters! Mira Grant is your THE MASTER now! Beware her zombie viruses and many other forms of doom. Everyone show your allegiance by singing the doom song – or else!

In other news, I’ve done a rather substantial refresh of the official band website. When I designed and built it last summer, I didn’t have much material beyond the Sketchy Characters EP. So I designed the site around that.

Since then, I’ve been busy. There’s the studio album, Dick Tracy Must Die, a live four-song EP, Espionage, a traditional-music-of-sorts EP, Cracksman Betty (both EPs being free/pay-what-you-want downloads), videos, photos, mailing list, ask-the-band, show posters, and and and.

So I’ve rebooted everything! I’ve ditched the hard black-on-white look and gone with something more colourful. I’ve elevated the music so you can find it – you might note the album cover graphics have play buttons! There’s a link off to YouTube video, there are shiny candy social network buttons – all sorts of stuff. There’s still no real merch page, and I’ll have to fix that soon, but the rest is pretty much where I want it. Tester feedback has been really good; give it a going-over and let me know what you think!

I already have the new poll designed for Wednesday. I like this one, it’ll be fun. Look for it, because it’ll be looking for you. Muah ha ha ha ha!

“It ain’t over ’till it’s over.”

The current poll is still running! Right now it’s a bit of a Mira Grant runaway, thanks to a certain lulzy tweet by a certain author of rather substantial name recognition, but there’s still all weekend!

To wit: HI MIRA GRANT FANS! Welcome to the site! The official poll results come out Monday. Until then, hang out, check out the blog, and most importantly, enjoy our rage-driven acoustic elfmetal. RAR! We stream everything and have some pay-what-you-like downloads, so give us supervillains a listen, won’t you? Lest ye die? ‘Cause we have a heat ray. And GeoIP tracking.

Just sayin’.

Doctor Who fans, you can turn this around! Okay, not you guys, you probably can’t. (Go ahead, prove me wrong. I dare you!) TICKIE FANS! You’re holding on in second! YOU CAN DO THIS! Here, have a DIY bumper sticker (click through for print resolution):

I’m still waiting for somebody to buy one of those TICKIEBOX IS MY MASTER NOW T-shirts. I spent at least 20 minutes on that design, by request, people! YOU KNOW YOU WANT ONE. So warm. So soft. So comfortable. So tickie!

I have no idea what that means either, it just kind of seemed to follow. XD

That’s it for now. I’ll be in conference all weekend with some Guild people at a meeting disguised as Norwescon 35 convention committee blah blah blah whatever who cares we have business to discuss. Yeah, I know, I’m not supposed to blow cover, but what’re you gonna do about it? Nothing! Muah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! MUAH ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Muah ha ha!

A good laugh. Remember. It’s about standards. They’re important.

Anyway, have a great weekend campaigning, people. Tickie! Tickie! Rah! Rah! Rah!