So, yeah, J-List sent this thing:

C’mon, J-list, if you’re gonna anticipate my surprise medical emergencies, at least put the patch on the right eye!

Surgery went well; for a couple of days I felt like I was filming an extraordinarily monotonous documentary on my own feet (Live from Shoetopia?) because I had to keep my head parallel to the floor and eyes down, but now I can look forward even if I still have a bunch of restrictions. (No looking up, no lying on my back or on my left side, no lifting even somewhat heavy objects, no sleeping without the eye guard (above) no strenuous activity, no driving, no altitude changes of substance – I could go to Portland, say, but not to the dry side – weird eye drops 8x daily, it goes on a bit…)

A lot of these get lifted in a week; a bunch, not for a few weeks.

On the plus side, my right eye is now a microscope! No, seriously, it actually is. There’s an air bubble in it – put there by the surgeon to force the torn part of the retina back into place – and the refraction factor between it and eye fluid is like sixty, which is to say, it acts as a lens! Yes, for the moment, I actually did get a super-power out of this. Sadly, it’s one not worth it, but still: moral victory! Or possibly amoral victory, what with the supervillain thing.

I asked the surgeon whether I had X-Ray vision now and he said, “Not yet.” Interesting.

Y’know, when you have an eye that’s a microscope, you can really tell the difference between retina and non-retina pixels. Seriously it’s like lego and duplo.

Also, my eye looks really scary and gross! Check it:

I SEE YOU
I also see my phone. My eye is, like, Replicant-reflective now.

Anyway, I’m under strict medical orders to take it easy for a week, so CAN DO SPORT. That mostly seems to be translating to excessive selfies and buying black eyepatches so I can take over Nick Fury’s job I can decorate. I wonder if I can get a PPDC shield onto this thing…