{"id":4901,"date":"2013-09-23T06:00:09","date_gmt":"2013-09-23T13:00:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/crimeandtheforcesofevil.com\/blog\/?p=4901"},"modified":"2013-09-23T06:00:09","modified_gmt":"2013-09-23T13:00:09","slug":"you-cannot-get-a-good-kamikaze-in-vancouver","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crimeandtheforcesofevil.com\/blog\/2013\/09\/23\/you-cannot-get-a-good-kamikaze-in-vancouver\/","title":{"rendered":"you cannot get a good kamikaze in vancouver"},"content":{"rendered":"

While a song is not a documentary, all of these variations actually happened, the first one repeatedly. In none of those moments some people call “ironic” but actually contains no actual irony, I was at a party this weekend hosted by the Agora featuring the Attoparsec Cocktail Engine<\/a>, and while it was not capable of making a true kamikaze, it was<\/em> capable of making one of these terrifying variants.<\/p>\n

I labelled the programme card for it, “PAIN.”<\/p>\n

Enjoy:<\/p>\n

You can’t get a good kamikaze in Vancouver<\/b>
\n2013 Crime and the Forces of Evil
\nor maybe Mary Kaye and the Cosmetics, it’s that kind of song<\/p>\n

Should probably be played with banjo or possibly ukelele
\nAlso tuba. BOMP bomp BOMP bomp BOMP bomp BOMP bomp<\/i><\/p>\n

Chorus:
\nYou can’t get a good kamikaze in Vancouver
\nIt doesn’t matter where you buy your drinks
\nYou can’t get a good kamikaze in Vancouver
\nGods know I’ve tried and every one just stinks<\/p>\n

Verse 1:
\n[on beat] Sometimes they’ll swap out the lime for orange
\nA trick they learned while serving in the Navy
\nI should be glad at least it is a citrus
\nBut something I could rhyme would be nice maybe<\/p>\n

Oh
\n[chorus]<\/p>\n

Verse 2:<\/p>\n

The Sheraton Vancouver’s pretty pleasant
\nAlthough it’s really really really really really really really really really really far away
\nThe kamikazi served was phosphorescent
\nThat kaiju flavour sticks with you all day<\/p>\n

RAR!
\n[chorus]<\/p>\n

Verse 3:
\nLe Vent du Nord was playing in Coquitlam
\n     Spoken: Yeah, I’m gonna rhyme something with Coquitlam. Watch me.<\/i>
\nLe Festival du Bois’s a panacea
\nThe drinking at the restaurant left my face numb
\nA kamikazi’s not a margarita!<\/p>\n

SALT?!
\n[chorus]<\/p>\n

Verse 4:
\nDavie during Pride is made of glitter
\nCommercial is a starker raving zoo
\nThe kami that they served me was so bitter
\nThe other girls around me bit ‘er too<\/p>\n

ar ar ar
\n[chorus]
\nBut still I tryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

While a song is not a documentary, all of these variations actually happened, the first one repeatedly. In none of those moments some people call “ironic” but actually contains no actual irony, I was at a party this weekend hosted by the Agora featuring the Attoparsec Cocktail Engine, and while it was not capable of [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4901","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-songs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/crimeandtheforcesofevil.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4901","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/crimeandtheforcesofevil.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/crimeandtheforcesofevil.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crimeandtheforcesofevil.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crimeandtheforcesofevil.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4901"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/crimeandtheforcesofevil.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4901\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/crimeandtheforcesofevil.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4901"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crimeandtheforcesofevil.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4901"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crimeandtheforcesofevil.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4901"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}