If I'm this neurotic, why aren't I acting?

I like feedback on things. I really do. I kinda need it. I mean, I’m not looking for people to tell me what I should be recording and shouldn’t – fuck that. I have my music and I write it and I’m recording it, slowly. I kinda just want to know people care enough to react in some way. I tend to think other people want that too, which is why I’m a little hyperactive with the “like” link on Facebook posts, and junk like that. It’s a way of saying, “I saw this and am telling you so.”

I think people tend to forget that I’m totally still feeling my way forward on all this recording and writing and playing and just assume I know more than I do. In fact, this post is triggered by mentioning privately to someone that I was feeling kind of disappointed by the lack of commentary back to me on Sketchy Characters. (Mind you, I know a lot of tracks got played, because Bandcamp has good stats, and that’s super-awesome! But I heard from like four people out of substantially more than 100.) And the person I mentioned this to replied – paraphrasing all this, of course – that they’d listened and just kind of assumed that I knew they liked my music, which I kinda hadn’t done. I kind of have to fight off the whole, “well, they’re saying nothing rather than saying how much that sucked” insecurity bullshit.

I also think people think I have much, much more confidence than I actually do. I don’t, really. I just say fukkit and do things anyway.

And really I suppose were I a Better Self-Actualised Person or whatever psychobabble you put on it, I wouldn’t care. In fact, I shouldn’t! Good artists ignore critics and work for the work, I’m told. (And really, I do. I love this. I just played an hour set for my sound baffles. Yes, I’ll play for inanimate objects. It’s good practice for farmer’s markets, aheh…) But I’ve been playing anything other than flute for barely two years, and while yeah, I’ll say it: I learn pretty fucking fast, I’m still pretty overwhelmed by all the shit I don’t know, and all the things I don’t even know that I don’t know!

Plus there’s the whole, “does this even register out there?” thing. Does it?

Conundrum

You know how it’s really difficult when you’re deciding between two tasty targets, both of which offer pretty good reward, but one of which looks so tempting and so available and not much more difficult – and you know some giant muppet is about to go off screaming about traps? Yeah, it’s like that.

I’ve got a new version of Artefacts. It’s mostly the same version as the one in Sketchy Characters; it just has the bass track now and a re-recorded bodhran track and some relevelling and other tweaks. But to my brain it sounds somewhere between a zillion and a gazillion times better! And, surprisingly, the two people who have heard it thus far both think I re-recorded the vocal tracks, which I actually haven’t touched – they just integrate better with the new sounds, which makes them sound new.

And I really want to post it, right? I want it out there. Particularly with people hitting the Bandcamp site pretty regularly! BUT: it’s still not quite finished! And I kinda want the whole Dick Tracy Must Die album to come out at once. So I’ve got temptations on both sides, and Immediate Gratification Angel is in a wrestling match with Admiral Ackbar and I don’t need that in my brain.

So I dunno. I’m still working on it. What do you think?

Yep – it's evil!

Yes, you’ve stumbled into the lair of Crime and her many Forces. We’re just settling in right now, so why don’t you go look at Solarbird’s music journal or our Bandcamp site where you can play songs from our preview EP, Sketchy Characters, while we keep working on the full-length CD Dick Tracy Must Die. But check back. We’ll have more here soon enough.

<a href="http://crimeandtheforcesofevil.bandcamp.com/track/outbirds">Outbirds by Crime and the Forces of Evil</a>

someone was looking for this

Somebody was looking for a shop I made a long time ago, back in 2005, with Pope Benedict / Pope Palpatine and “I find your lack of faith disturbing” and all that. Here y’go.

I also made an icon. Enjoy.

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