jeff Bohnhoff found this AVID ProTools parody site that’s pretty funny if you’re into recording technologies. Yeah, that’s pretty obscure, but it’s a Thursday and I have the annual multi-hour tax appointment so that’s all I got.

The real point of these is, yes, fine, there’s a tape aesthetic, there’s a sound, there are Happy Accidents, but jfc tape was awful when you actually had to use it. Or was fantastic, depending upon how you feel about editing with cutting blocks, tape hiss, capstan rumble, track bleed, dropouts, head lubricant which is not in any way as fun as it sounds and unbelievable amounts of expense, and don’t get me wrong, it beat everything that came before, this is really just my way of saying nostalgia is stupid, but if you want to use magnetic tape and gear as an effects box, that makes sense.

Just, gods, don’t have to rely on it.

I kind’ve wish they’d included some radio specific bits. There would’ve been commentary about randomised tape stretch in your carts, and there would be emulation of the magnetic track marker tape disappearing somewhere in the machine resulting in guaranteed loss of cueing functionality and 50%-likely loss of tape until you restored the track marker, plus a bonus .01% chance of Avid Virtual Cart Machine™ failure and .001% chance of Avid Virtual Cart Machine Electrical Fire™. Avid Virtual Tape Splicing Kit™ and Avid Virtual Cart Start Marker Kit™ subscription would both be required; Avid Virtual Staff Technician™ and Avid Virtual Little Fire Extinguisher Under The On-Air Desk™ recommended. Avid Virtual Cart Start Marker Kit™ and Avid Virtual Little Fire Extinguisher Under The On-Air Desk™ would be, of course, not yet available.

But you get the idea.